A few weeks ago I was drinking coffee, with a friend that I haven't seen in a while. We were chatting about sooo many different things, from shallow makeup topics to intellectual conversations about politics and who or what we want to become after we finish college. You know, just the usual girl chatter. But the topic that really caught my attention, the one I began thinking about as soon as we parted ways was ironically the one about girls or better put about the way girls treat each other. The way we mistreat one another.
I suppose the normal question we'd have to ask ourselves next is, why does this even happen? Why do girls have to hate one another for no reason? Why does my male friend have to be surprised when a girl walks by and I actually compliment her style, body, face or just her as a whole? Isn't it sad that he's surprised? Isn't it sad that he expected me to diss her or say something mean, just because he's used to it from his other female friends? Personally, I think it's one of the saddest things in the world.
The probable reason for this is that we're insecure and we think about those insecurities wayyy too much. So much that the situation slips out of our control. I would know since I used to be like that too. And I know for a fact that when we're insecure/unsure about ourselves we seek imperfections in others so that we make ourselves feel better. But when you come to the point where you realize that you'll never be perfect and neither will they, you stop hating everyone so much and start appreciating the fact that we're all in this together.
So what if she has bigger boobs than you? You have a bigger ass and she probably hates you for it, right? So what if her house is bigger, maybe she thinks yours is prettier in general and again, hates you for it. Are you noticing the pattern? It's a never-ending cycle. Someone will always have something that you don't. Or will be better at something. But that doesn't mean that you're not better at something else, right? Meaning there's no reason to hate. But there are a lot of reasons to support. Because when we do, we all grow together and feel better as a result. And isn't that something we all want? Just to feel better about ourselves? And do you really think you'll achieve that by dissing someone else?
The answer is: no, you won't. You'll simply feel more miserable because when you hate there's no time for growth. And when there's no time for growth, there's no time for happiness. So don't waste your time on hating, it won't get you very far. Supporting, on the other hand, is good for the soul.
I don't know about you guys, but it makes me feel amazinggg when I feel like I've helped someone or when I simply give someone a compliment. I love how their eyes immediately brighten up and I love the way they sincerely smile. The thing is that it takes so little to make someone happy, even if it's just for a day. So why not do it? If you're aware of the power you have, why not use it for some good? Why not help someone feel better about themselves? Plus in the process, you feel better too.
Therefore I've come to the conclusion that girls should be the version of their drunk bathroom selves all the time. I've never met a drunk girl in a bathroom of some random party that hasn't been nice to me. I guess that happens because at that time we let our guard down. We don't look at that other individual as a threat or an enemy. She's just a girl in a bathroom who's probably as lost as you are and needs some help with the toilet paper. It's as simple as that.
So my advice is: be that drunk girl from the bathroom. Mean sober girls are wayyyy overrated.
With love, Nina
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