About a week ago I asked my followers on Instagram what would they like to read about in my next blog post and quite a few of them mentioned "confidence". I feel like I always somehow intertwine this concept in all of my posts because it's a really important part of life at the end of the day. Though, indeed, I've never written explicitly about it... so here goes nothing.
"Be confident enough to encourage confidence in others.'' ~ Ron Kaufman
Today's society is contradictory. On one hand, it encourages women to become the most confident versions of ourselves, while on the other they make it extraordinary difficult by beautifying only a certain type of appearance. In some cases they even make us feel like it's wrong to be confident because that means that you're self-absorbed, cocky, easy even.
A few days ago an acquaintance of mine teased me for having my own picture as my phone wallpaper. Like honestly... Who gives a shit? I love the picture, I look good in it, it looks amazing as a wallpaper... Therefore it will be my wallpaper. What's the issue here? And what kind of message does it send? That it's wrong to like my content? That it's better to have a random stranger on my background than myself? I mean think about it. By social standards, you shouldn't have your own picture on the background because it looks like you're superficial and it gives the wrong message. Well, to me it's wrong to condemn people for loving themselves and creating content that they're obviously proud of. Therefore I say fuck society, I'm keeping my wallpaper.
So how do you put yourself in a position where you feel like you‘ve satisfied our society by being just the "right amount" of confident? ...That's an easy answer. You don't. You see, the point of confidence isn't pleasing the people around you, the point is pleasing yourself. It's important that you like yourself no matter what you look like or what you dress like. When that happens you automatically glow differently and everyone around you sees it as well.
Sometimes we meet people who perhaps aren't "our type" or don't necessarily look the way that we prefer. But then we get to know those people... their personalities, their quirks, their imperfections... and all of a sudden they become the most attractive people in the world. I think that all of you are aware of this and I’d be surprised if it didn’t happen to you at least once in your life. Meaning looks aren't as important. You can meet the most attractive person in the world and if they end up being a shitty person... well, they aren't so attractive anymore, now are they?
I'm emphasizing this because I want to make it very clear how irrelevant looks really are when it comes to being confident. What everyone should understand is that we are all so very different. Some people will never be able to have curvy bodies or model-like skinny bodies and that's okay, we're all beautiful in our own different way. I started thinking about this a week ago when one of my nieces told me that she wants to look just like me when she grows up because I'm "so pretty". Of course, I was happy that she looked up to me, but at the same time, I was angry because I don't want her to grow up in a society that beautifies Kardashian bodies and condemns other body types.
That's why this post is so important to me. I feel like it's crucial (especially for younger generations) to realize that our differences and imperfections make us who we are and therefore make us extraordinary beautiful. I personally like individuals who keep being themselves no matter what everyone else has to say. Even when it comes to myself... I don't think that people like me for looking a certain way. I mean sure, individuals who follow me on social media accounts that have never met me in real life partially because of those kinds of reasons too. But so many times I've heard people compliment me for my way of thinking, for my crazy ideas, for my personality... And those exact traits are what makes me feel confident.
I'm aware that looks are passing, so I find beauty in things that have the possibility to last forever. I feel confident because of my imperfections and not in spite of them. And most importantly my confidence doesn't make me cocky or feel like I'm better than other people. It makes me realize how far from the truth that actually is.
Artistically I show how confident I am through my media accounts... Through the pictures and blogs that I post. I share things that make me feel good about myself, things that I care about and things that no one can ever take away from me. I don't share half-naked pictures because I'm cocky or easy like society might say. I share them because I'm confident enough to not care. And just like Christina Grimmie said: Confidence is not "they will like me." Confidence is "I'll be fine if they don't.".
But on a personal level... I show confidence by staying kind towards the people who matter most. And just like the introductory quote says... by encouraging confidence in other people.
With love, Nina
P.S. The amazing photos above are taken by Senad Begic (1&3) and Alan Bucar Vuksic (2).
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